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★ Autumn ★

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Cheers [July 23rd - 2008
9 PM]
[ mood | regretful/hopeful ]

I've woken my LiveJournal up tonight, to wish it a happy fifth birthday. Now I will leave it to an eternal, well-earned rest.

My new blog went live today, more or less. It is still lacking a few features, such as comments and a browse-able archive. I'll be right back with the new URL...

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[April 28th - 2008
10 PM]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Tonight, Grandpa Sweatshirt was waiting for me in the parking lot across from the bowling alley. I pulled down the brim of my cap, and pretended not to see him. At which he called out my name, walked directly up to me and said, “So, how about I walk you home?”

I have not the words.

Actually, I did have the words. They were “I’m sorry, but I don’t know you very well.”

He gave a sad shrug. “I just thought, since we were walking the same way, maybe we could walk together.”

Oh yes, the old backpedal trick. Pretend you weren’t making advances, just being friendly, and make a girl feel guilty for even suspecting otherwise. It doesn't work when you've already asked her out once.

“Good night,” I said. After a moment, he crossed the road and headed off down one of the alleys. I took an elaborate, well-lit detour back to my house, looking over my shoulder every half-block.

Perhaps I should carry a switchblade.

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[March 27th - 2008
2 AM]
[ mood | nauseated ]

First, I want to make it clear that the toilet was already well clogged when I entered the bathroom. I merely tried to flush it. I did shut the valve, but not fast enough to stop a minor flood.

Then, for about 45 minutes, I attacked the clog with a plunger and contemplated suicide. Eventually it flushed, and went I in search of bleach, a mop, and a stiff drink.

I was rooting around in the cupboard under the sink when I noticed the kitchen floor was wet. The kitchen counter was deep under a puddle, which could only mean one thing. One unthinkable thing.

I woke Dan and showed him everything. He dragged his shop vac up to the bathroom, to suck up the standing water, while I got busy disinfecting the kitchen. Our house now stinks of bleach, Lestoil, and peppermint schnapps. Tomorrow I will burn my slippers.

You know...

After what I wrote in Tuesday's entry, maybe I deserved all this.

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[March 10th - 2008
1 PM]
I've read library books. I've been to seminars. I've tried every search engine, slogged through every website out there. Here's what I've learned about the craft of writing resumes.
  1. Express yourself! Sell yourself! This is your first chance to make a good impression, so don't be shy!

  2. Wait. Make sure to put it all in a format more rigid and prescriptive than an audience at the court of the Ming Dynasty. This is no time to be clever or different.

  3. If you happen to be clever or different, even a little, conceal it. Everyone else does. You're not being judged on who you are, but how well you hide it.

  4. Don't just put on a new identity. Embrace it. You'll feel better.

  5. After you get the job, make sure to judge your colleagues and clients with the same criteria. Don't look for literacy, numeracy, or a good sense of humor; seek out people who know when to use double-spacing. Give preference to the ones who tuck their shirts in the best. Nothing shows respect like tucking one garment under another. But don't tuck your trousers into your socks; that is NOT respectful. I don't know why. We just don't do it.
These attitudes are the reason I hate resumes, hate the job search. They're why mainstream culture and commerce drive me berserk.
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[February 21st - 2008
3 PM]
[ mood | lonely ]

I'm afraid to call my lawyer, but I have no choice. I screwed up the paperwork for my claim, and I don't know what to do.

He'll ask me why I haven't called him since January. He'll ask me why I filled out the paperwork without him.

Then I'll feel stupid. I left a voice mail message for him in January; he never called me back; I decided I was bothering him and didn't try again.

Since then, I haven't called him because I don't want to explain why I haven't called him. Every day that I wait makes it harder, and I feel even stupider.

Why am I such a coward? At everything?

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on a rainy monday [February 18th - 2008
1 PM]
I was one of the last temps still working in the lab. On Friday, we were all laid off.

I can't believe I'm writing this, but I miss my boring job already. Work gave me co-workers, goals, and a reason to wake up and get dressed on most mornings. Work was power over my own destiny.

I've done three loads of laundry today, filed my taxes, and boiled a weeks' worth of brown rice. I thought about trying to walk the dog, but my housemate says he'll only slip the leash and run away from me.

My only consolation is that I'm not sitting around my parents' house in Raymond. I may be bored and lonely, but at least I'm bored and lonely in Manchester.
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[January 20th - 2008
1 PM]
This year, I've resolved to try every new thing I can. Yesterday, I took my first lesson in cross-country skiing. Read more...Collapse )
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[January 13th - 2008
4 PM]
[ mood | anxious ]


I am suing a used-car dealer in small claims court, and I'd rather not go into more detail than that. Although I have a strong case, I'm not used to confrontation and the stress is keeping me awake at night.

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Type I Parties [December 22nd - 2007
2 PM]
Jayson's Christmas/Solstice party is tonight. I predict it will sound something like this: Read more...Collapse )
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[December 18th - 2007
11 PM]
Another of my old lovers has resurfaced. Yesterday he appeared on instant messenger to tell me that we need to have a "serious talk". I expected to hear the usual lies - he's sorry, he's changed, we can still have fun - but no. He wants to have a serious talk about why I should vote for Ron Paul.

Oh well. I might have voted for Ron Paul if he hadn't suggested it. Don't underestimate the power of the spite vote.

In other news, Team Ramrod finally won a game tonight! Read more...Collapse )
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[December 8th - 2007
1 PM]
[ mood | achy ]

Manchester, my new home, is dead dull.

The heat shut off at 10 last night. Since my pillow and blanket were back in my parents' car, I lay curled in a ball all night, under a pile of sweaters and coats.

The heat came roaring back on at 7 this morning. I sat around in my undewear for an hour, too sore to move. Sometime after 10, I went downstairs and made myself a plate of runny scrambled eggs. Then I watched Airplane on Comedy Central.

At noon, I let the dog out, and stood in the front yard watching him pee on the side of the neighbors' house. I put the dog back inside.

I walked down to Walgreens and bought some vitamins, then wandered around the neighborhood. It was all slushy sidewalks and dripping eaves, barking dogs behind stockade fences and sparrows turning in formation in the blue sky. One triple-decker wooden tenement looks mostly like another.

On Spruce Street, I found a dead house cat lying on the sidewalk. Frozen dribbles of blood were hanging from its mouth and nose. I left the cat where it lay, although it didn't seem right.

I keep thinking that maybe I'm too old and fat to be playing some girl from the suburbs who comes to the city looking for color and excitement. Or maybe I'm just in the wrong city.

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possibly more than you wanted to know... [November 29th - 2007
10 PM]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Driving home tonight, the news on WSHK made me so angry that I threw up.

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[September 1st - 2007
12 PM]
I finally tried the Adderall at breakfast this morning. On the advice of the college students at work, I sawed the tablet in two with a steak knife and swallowed half of it.

Here are my symptoms so far: my sense of taste has gone flat, my skin smells like rubber, and nothing else has happened. I did have to fight a gag reflex after breakfast, which could have been the speed, but it also could have been the undercooked omelet, or the somewhat excessive number of vitamins supplements I'd taken. Whatever. I ate some Necco Wafers, walked around, and felt better.

Still no sign of the Tasmanian-Devil energy I'd hoped for.
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[August 28th - 2007
11 PM]
Last Friday, Erich invited a group of us out to the Coat of Arms to celebrate closing on his condo. That might be the most yuppiefied sentence I've ever written.

An extraordinary number of cops were out that night. On my way home, I passed a speed trap near the railroad tracks. I flashed my lights to warn the next car, only to realize, as I passed, that it was also a cruiser. Crap. I sped around the next corner, before they could turn around and follow me, and what was waiting at the end of the street? Another police car, which pulled out and appeared to drive off in the other direction. I looped around the traffic circle a few times, hoping to confuse any cops who might have followed me. Then I realized that another cruiser was parked next to the circle, watching everything. Apparently, my behavior wasn't suspicious enough. I drove away, feeling relieved and kind of dumb.

My friend Chris from work had stopped by the Coat and had a few glasses of vodka with us. "You're friends are actually a lot of fun," he told me yesterday. "From the way you described them, I was expecting them to be completely socially retarded. But I had a really good time."

Chris also thinks my friends are all rather good-looking. Jayson, in particular, he described as "quite the hottie".
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Apparently, I'm Elaine [July 10th - 2007
4 PM]
Whatever that means.

Saturday morning, my mother and I went to Applebees and spent a $50 bill on lunch. That's just how we roll.

Saturday evening, there was supposed to be a cookout at The Green, but Jayson, Eric, and I were the only guests to show up. So then, except for Jayson and the lobsters, it was no different than any other evening at The Green.

Well, there were also fireworks. Rockets, Roman candles, and mysterious tubes were piled in a corner of their kitchen. Since the boys didn't have a permit, they needed a stealthy place to set them off - somewhere visible, but difficult for the police to pinpoint. We finally settled on the near-inaccessible beach at Governor's Lake.

Suddenly, Everyone's Favorite Libertarian remembered he had things to do and scampered off home. Mmmm-hmmm.

After he left, we discovered that we wouldn't need a permit. According to the internet, it's not illegal to set off most types of fireworks in New Hampshire. Even so, we decided to save the rockets for a bigger party, and just set off some Roman candles.

Bill and Justin also played a game of Roman candle tennis. Yes, Roman Candle Tennis. I have not the words; just look for the clip on YouTube.
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[July 4th - 2007
9 AM]
[ mood | stunned ]

You will never guess who I just ran into online.

And no, it wasn't BJ, Ape Girl, or Jameses.

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I can't believe I forgot to write about this. [July 4th - 2007
9 AM]
So last Thursday, the following sign was taped to the wall in my lab.

When Scotty the Frat Boy saw it, he said "Sweet. We're getting blueberries!"

I immediately ran down to the break room, where the lab girls were waiting, and said "Great news! Scott thinks the watermelon on that sign is a blueberry."

Poor kid. When he walked into the break room, the girls were all waving slices of watermelon at him and saying things like "Hey Scott, want a blueberry?"

Scott grumbled something and went outside, presumably to think up a retort. After several minutes, he came sauntering in the back door, grabbed a slice of watermelon, and said "Oh Yeah? So how come they're not in a green bowl?"
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Don't cry. Don't raise your eyes. [June 30th - 2007
9 AM]
[ mood | weary ]

Read more...Collapse )

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[June 25th - 2007
8 AM]
a night on the town...Collapse )
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Sushi Guy, part II [June 24th - 2007
6 PM]
Remember that field scientist I was obsessed with in my last entry? I spoke to him three times this week. Now I'm not sure what I think of him. Read more...Collapse )
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